


She looks pretty and she does not feel.

by twitchy_hands



Series: grace wanted a child and ended up with seven [2]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2020-01-01 04:24:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18328571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twitchy_hands/pseuds/twitchy_hands
Summary: Vanya is 9 when her mother passes, Grace is there to pick up the pieces.





	She looks pretty and she does not feel.

**Author's Note:**

> read prev work in series or this wont make sense

"Vanya?"

"Yes, mother?"

"...Nevermind."

The small girl looked on, straight cut bangs shadowing her eyes. She dare not get any closer to her mother's bed. The room feels stiff and smells like soaked cardboard. 

Vanya leaves her mother's bedroom quietly.

"You look beautiful," Natasha says in a flat tone that doesn't match her forced smile. Curtsying in front of the full-length mirror, adjusting her skirt. 

"Thank you," she replies softly. 

"Take your pills." 

She places the nondescript white tablets on her tongue and swallows harshly, feelings stifled under her mother's gaze. 

"Good girl. Get in the car."

Sometimes Vanya feels less like a daughter and more like a prized possession. She daintily steps out of the vehicle and walks down the garden path, hands at the edges of her skirt gently lifting to reveal her knees. She is small and moves gracefully, her soft brown hair dead straight and contrasting against her white blouse. A shy field mouse moving between the wheat. 

Grace sees her and smiles. 

“Vanya! Don’t you look just cute as a button today?” Vanya always smiles for Grace. 

“Natasha-” She turns to Vanya’s mother, a look of sadness that the young girl doesn't quite understand. “You look well.” A soft smile as Grace extends a hand and walks her the rest of the way to her seat.

Vanya sits at the smaller table, lifting her skirt and slowly lowering herself into her seat. Allison is already sitting down but she stands, exaggerates Vanya’s movements as she sits a second time, both girls already giggling. Allison has always been much more dramatic and sometimes Vanya wishes she could be just as loud and bright.

Vanya’s house is very cold and very beautiful. Statues dot the halls and portraits cover the walls and Vanya is not allowed to touch any of it. Sometimes Vanya believes her mother wished she too were a mere statue. Just another prize to display to the ladies who lunch. 

So Vanya is silent and polite. So Vanya is doll-like and adorable and everyone adores her, in the way one might adore a pretty hairbrush with fine horsehair bristles and silver back. So Vanya is a perfect daughter who is seen not heard.

Allison is showing her the new toy that Grace had bought for her, a gorgeous doll with deep skin and curly hair just like Allison’s own. She makes the doll dance on the table and for a moment Vanya wishes it was her. 

If Allison asked, Vanya would happily be just another one of her dolls if this is the life they live.

The garden is filled with dull colored flowers and the muted sounds of tea being poured fill the air. Grace walks around and fills the ladies cups and then she walks around and fills her other guests with water, the plants. She coos and names every single one of them, sometimes she even lets Vanya take home a small selection of flowers to take home with her. 

Vanya wants to make perfume with them, or maybe tie them into flower crowns. Natasha presses them into books. Just another pretty thing to be displayed. Vanya stands in the library and practices standing perfectly still, a heavy book atop her head. Her mother walks past several times throughout the day and not a single time does she acknowledge Vanya’s presence.

Vanya is still confused as to whether she was just so good at being invisible that her mother truly didn’t see her, or if she had just been ignoring her. Vanya is quite used to being ignored and she almost feels sad at the fact that she can’t tell the difference between purposeful exclusion and accidental. Almost feels sad, for Vanya does not feel. 

Vanya stands in the corner and she looks pretty and she does not feel.

"Vanya?"

"Yes, mother?"

"I love you."

The room is deathly still, Vanya opens her mouth, closes it again. The words are caught in her throat and the overwhelming atmosphere of the bedroom shakes her. Vanya's mouth stays firmly shut as she exits the room, pushing the door closed quiet as a mouse.

Vanya is 9 when her mother passes, Grace is there to pick up the pieces.


End file.
